Edward's pov
by WordsCantBringMeDown
Summary: Remember all the times you wish you could have been in Edwards head? Well, now you can here what he's thinking at all the best moments!


**Okay, so I'm not doing the meadow or the first kiss or anything before that because another author already did them. If you'd like to read that just go to my favorite stories and find "the lion and the lamb". This author is amazing but, sadly, didn't finish the story. I'm not doing all the books in Edwards's pov because I think my head would burst. But I will do the parts where I wish I was in his head the most. I would love for you guys to let me know parts you want to hear so if you have the time, message me and let me know. Okay so here goes nothing. Hope you like it!**

**(In "Twilight" on pg.297 to pg.319. The fist night Edward stayed…and Bella knew about it.)**

She came up the stairs slowly, or it felt slowly to me. When she finally reached the room she slammed the door. Then she rushed towards the window, the window I frequently used and is well oiled so I won't wake her as she sleeps. She pushed it open and leaned out into the night air.

"Edward?" She asked. My heart warmed as she said my name.

I tried not to laugh but failed. "Yes," I laughed softly to myself. She spun around, her hand coming to rest on her throat. Her heart beat thrummed rapidly in her chest. I smile, liking the sound of her heart beat.

"Oh," she whispered, sliding weakly to the floor.

I hadn't meant to scare her. "I'm sorry." I pursed my lips together in displeasure. Her heart still thrummed away.

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart." She said breathlessly. I sat up very slowly so I wouldn't frighten her again. I should have stayed put so she could calm down but I hated the space between us. I gently pulled her up by her warm, delicate arms. Her heart was the loudest thing in the room.

"Why don't you sit with me?" I asked, unconsciously covering her hand with my own. Sitting next to her was like sitting next to a heat lamp. "How's the heart?" I was getting nervous.

Her cheeks tinged pink. Delicious. "You tell me. I'm sure you hear it better then I do." I laughed, feeling free. I listened as her heart rate decreased.

"Can I have a minute to be human?"

Certainly." I smiled and motioned for her to proceed.

"Stay." She said firmly.

"Yes, ma'am." I became perfectly still. She got up. She retrieved clothes from the floor and a bag from the cluttered desk. She walked out, closing the door behind her. I listened to her walk down the hall and into the bathroom. She slammed the door loudly. I could hear the sound of a foot ball game clearly. Charlie's thought were vague, I guessed he was complaining about a bad play.

The water was turned on in the bathroom. I smelled strawberries. No surprise there, Bella's hair always smelled slightly of strawberries, it was just overpowered by her own luscious scent.

I thought about that, her smell. My throat burned at the thought. It was like lilac, orange blossom and freesia. Only better. Much, much better.

There were some rummaging noises from the bathroom, then the creak of the stairs.

"Night, Dad." Bella chimed.

"Night, Bella." He was startled. He had been expecting her to leave. Bella rushed up the stairs. I almost went to meet her, afraid she would fall. But I stayed, because she had told me to.

She rushed into the room, taking care to close the door behind her. I couldn't help but smile a little in her presence. I studied her as she walked towards me. She wore sweat pants and a torn short. She was beautiful. There was a small whole halfway up her stomach. I raised an eyebrow.

"Nice." She made a face. "No, it looks good on you." She studied the floor. Bella looked very good.

"Thanks." She folded herself down next to me.

"What was all that for?" I asked, referring to her father.

"Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out."

"Oh." That explained why he thought she might be leaving. "Why?"

"Apparently I look a little over excited." She smiled. I lifted her face to get a better look at her delicate features. I studied her long brown hair, warm, inviting eyes, and disagreed with this conclusion.

"You look very warm, actually." I leaned into her, pressing my cheek against her throat as I buried my nose in her hair. Even as my throat was set ablaze I did not want to move. "Mmmmmm…."

"It seems to be…much easier for you, now, to be close to me." She sounded flustered…or dazzled.

"Does it seem that way to you?" I let by nose follow the line over her jaw, reveling in the softness her sweet smelling skin. I went to kiss the hollow under her ear, but her fragrant hair sidetracked me. I gently moved it away, as to not distract me again. I let my lips touch her skin.

"Much, much easier." She said unsteadily. I trailed my fingers down her neck, stopping at her pulse. "So I was wondering…." I let my fingers outline the indent of her color bone. She didn't finish.

"Yes?" She was not the only one out of breath.

"Why is that, do you think?" Her voice shook. Her breath hitched at the same time mine did. I had a yearning for Bella. Not Bell's blood, but Bella. Her soul and…her body. How strange. I laughed, elated that I could do this to her.

"Mind over matter." Then she leaned back. I stopped dead. My body locked into place, my breath ceasing. We sat still for a moment. I slowly relaxed, taking on an expression of puzzlement. I didn't know what I had done wrong. Did my cold touch finally become too much?

"Did I do something wrong?" I hadn't meant to but god knew it was possible.

"No-the opposite. You're driving me crazy," she explained.

I could make Bella crazy? Well, it was only fair since her voice alone chased the sanity from my mind. "Really?" I could pleasure Bella? I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

Her voice was heavy with sarcasm when she asked "Would you like a round of applause?"

"I'm just pleasantly surprised. In the last hundred years or so, "I teased, "I never imagined anything like this. I never imagined finding someone I wanted to be with," I paused, "in another way then my brother and sisters." I sighed contentedly. "And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it…at being with you…."

"You're good at everything." She replied cuttingly.

I shrugged. She looked at me and we both laughed in whispers. It was pure bliss.

"But how can it be so easy now?" She pressed on. "This afternoon…."

I wished she would drop the subject, for I did not want answer. But I owed my angel that. My angel. "It's not easy" I told her with a sigh. "But this afternoon I was still…" I paused for a long while, not wanting to admit it to her. "…undecided. I am sorry about that. It was unforgivable for me to behave so." I was still horrified by my actions.

"Not unforgivable." She corrected. She was forgiving me.

"Thank you," I couldn't help but smile at her. She was not only undeniably beautiful, but a purely kind person. Bella truly was my angel. She was kind and beautiful, brave and fragrant. It was like god had cast her from the sky just for me. "You see, I wasn't sure if I was strong enough." I bowed my head in shame. I wasn't sure how to continue.

I lifted Bella's hand to my face, reveling in its warmth. Her touch gave me the incentive to continue. "And while there was still a chance that I might be…overcome," by your intoxicating aroma, I finished to myself, as I breathed in her smell. I was…susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I **was** strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would…that I ever could…." I struggled for the right word. I wasn't sure how to put it eloquently, and without scaring her.

"So there's no possibility now?"

I wanted to tell her no, that it was no longer possible. But I needed to be honest with her. "Mind over matter." I smiled, trying to hide the sadness that had overcome my euphoric mood.

"Wow, that was easy," she trilled.

I couldn't help but laugh. This situation was anything but easy. Ha! "Easy for you." I touched her nose for emphasis…and purely to touch her. Her heart fluttered, sending her blood pounding. My face hardened. Not easy at all. "I'm trying," my voice came as a pained whisper, "If it gets to be…too much. I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

She glowered at me for a reason unknown.

"And it will be harder tomorrow. I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though, I think."

"Don't go away, then," she pleaded with me. The thought that she wanted to be with gave me a warm feeling.

Hr smiled. "That suits me. Bring on the shackles-I'm your prisoner." I laughed, wrapping my hands around her delicate wrists.

"You seem more…optimistic than usual. I haven't seen you like this before." She stated.

I thought about the way my dead heart seemed to beat when I was in her company. How her touch never failed to steal my breath. "Isn't it supposed to be like this?" I smiled. "The glory of first love, and all that. It'd incredible, isn't it, the difference between readings about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?"

"Very different. More forceful that I imagined," she agreed.

I found myself shedding my human façade. "For example, the emotion of jealousy. I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actor portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly." I told her. "But it shocked me…." What an understatement that was, but there was no need to scare her. "Do you remember the day mike asked you to the dance?" The day I nearly killed him? The day I nearly exploded with frustration?

She nodded, "The day you started talking to me again."

**Please review! I need to know if you think I got Edward right!**


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